The Drinking Song
By Rob Melso

I said we don’t be startin no trouble
Get a bottle in your hand that’s fizzin with bubbles
Cause we know tonight will be lots of fun
Everybody in the place buy a shot for someone

And lets drink to a better tomorrow
If you need a dollar I got one you can borrow
Cause I know that you wanna get loose
Everybody in the place do a shot of grey goose

Find a girl that’s pretty can be, ask her what’s your drink of choice?
Jager, jack or sex on the beach, an irish car bomb for the boys
It don’t matter what day of the week, if it’s morning noon or night
Everyboyd raise your glass in the air and say ho! if you’re feelin fine

Patty cake, patty cake, bakers man
Take that cake and shove it like a skater on a ramp cause I really don’t want no pastry’s. But a buttery nipple sounds mighty tasty.
Ooh some tequila would be just fine with a little bit of salt around the edge and cut a lime Well line em up and knock em back on three. One for him, two for her, three for me and

Take a look around the room and find a girl or boy
Social lubricant does the trick there’s no time to be coy
It don’t matter what day of the week, if it’s morning noon or night
Hold your glasses up in the air and say ho! if you’re feelin fine

(Oooohh Time to get drunk, time to have fun, time to get drunk).
(It’s time to, it’s time to, it’s time to drink drink up)

Are you sad? Are you happy?
Well I have a solution
Grab the nearest bartender by the shoulders and look them dead in the eye you tell them how pretty they are, and you tell them you would like to buy a tall, full drink of something cold, something strong for yourself, and you down that drink you thank them properly for being such excellent bartenders. And with every drink, the person next to you will be pretty, and you will be handsome again, the opposite sex will love you. You won’t be boring, you will be funny. She’ll love your stories. You can both joke about how drunk you are, and how you never usually get this way. And you can HAVE a good time because You don’t have to Drive home. You can do whatever you want to. You’re 21. You’re an ADULT now. And if somebody pushes you, you push them back, because you have beer muscles, and nobody should invade your personal space. And if anybody asks you, you tell them you can have another drink if you want because you can do whatever you want, you’re an American. You can jump around, you can dance as strange as possible, and you can get as roudy as you want to, and you can punch someone in the face-- a total stranger! You can eat an entire meat-lovers pizza, with extra cheese, extra sausage, extra anchovies, and extra... green peppers. You can pee right there in the street, you can do what ever you want because you won’t remember tomorrow anyway!!!!!